Work Work Work

Another day in the forge and I head back to the wagon to see my family. The move is coming quick and I have been in the forge too much but I know it has to be done. I can slow down after the move. I keep telling myself this. I only hope I can follow through with it. With the wagon in sight I feel life coming back to me, some of the life that has drained out of me during the day and basically in pools of sweat in the forge. Stepping up and into the wagon I can feel different emotions hit me. Dissapointment first because I am too late. Silks is alseep already. She has been patient throughout this workload I have been stuck in. I know She does not like waiting either. Silks is not the patient type. This is when the second emotion comes in, just watching her asleep in the furs. I often enjoy looking at her while she is asleep. I do not tell her of this for it is something that I have come to cherish now. With little time for us to be together, I have started to savor all the little things. Her face is beautiful. The full lips, her petite nose and her fire red hair. She sleeps peacefully most nights. This is not the same Silks that I knew when I first came back. She is much more. I am not one for words, especially when it comes to romance. A fault I do have and should always try to work on but I shall try and explain it. She has grown. Matured maybe. Silks had the tough exterior to her. One that was used more as a defense to anybody around her and She still has it somewhat . Now, She is more open, exposed. Allowing Me to see her true self. I find it also amusing that she is scared of all the new things she is experiencing. The wall she had built up for so long, the one she kept reinforcing for all this time started cracking and eventually fell over. There are some remnants left but they are chipping away and falling over slowly. I sit here now, looking at her. Smiling at her as she sleeps soundly this night. She has tried so hard to please me and just in the attempts she makes me truly happy and proud. So much to write about her but right now...I am falling alseep myself and will join my mate in peaceful sleep.

Savage

One thing was said to me and it was all it took. My quiva was already drawn and placed along the throat of the girl and without thought...instinct maybe...slid it easily across to take her life away. It is an entriely different mindset I had entered. If this was a true enemy, I would have savored the kill. The head would be removed and placed on a pike and sent to the outer area of the camp so any that come close will know what awaits them if they approach. The rush is something that completely takes over. There is no more compassion. No love. No respect. No life left in me, just a warrior intent to kill with no regards to his opponents. Either I will die or you will die. Nothing else matters now. All sounds leave me, All I see is the one who will fall under my blade at my time and choosing. If they are a worthy warrior, quick death will be given. If they are a coward, I will make your death last as long as I can. Take you arm first so you can not swing a weapon. Take a leg so you can not run. Then glare into your eyes so you see that I have no regret, no remorse. No words need to be said for my eyes show it all. This is Tuchuk's wrath and anger. No mercy given to the weak and unless you are Tuchuk...then you are weak.

Waste of a girl

I know I have not written anything down as of late but things have been busy in camp in preparations for the move. The forge requires constant attention, attention I would like to give more of to Silken and bull. I have been making it out more so things are getting better. When I do come back though, I am sometimes surprised as to what is waiting for me, as what I came across the other day. I come back to see Silken and bull only to hear her cursing something. I look and there is Silks cursing out a girl from some time ago. Apparently she had run away or...something. I do not really care, all I know is she is here now. This girl is rather bold. She won't live long. Prideful, arrogant and mouthy. In the end, I shave her head. Maybe then she will learn a little humility. I come across her the next day, chained to the wheel and again....she is aggravating Silks. By the time this is all over, I have slit her throat and let her body just drop where it is. Thre is more to the this all but, I shall not give this waste of a girl any more of my time or thoughts.

What goes around

The last time I have written in this charred up journal was after the fire...To my best memory. I am getting old. As expected, tensions were high after the fire though. There was small arguments here and there and all around crankiness as most of the tribe had not been sleeping as we all worked on getting the camp together again. It seems though, with the fire sweeping through the camp and destroying much, it has also brought in new faces. I do not know many of them. I do not really know of their situation as of that moment. Whether they are showing up because they have no where else in the camp to go now or have lost everything they had in the camp, including their loved ones and are looking for an extended family. They are Tuchuk and I will treat them as such but, as with any new Tuchuk...they have to earn their place and respect of the Tuchuk around them. Ayg held a tribal meeting of sorts to help relieve some of the tension and to just try and rebuild relationships and the harigga at once. I feel the meeting was overall good although I had a difference of opinion with Ayg over the fire trenches. Silken called it just shaving the plains. Several days after the meeting though, another face popped up. They were coming from all over. This one I knew though. Jubie. He was one of the first tuchuks I came to know when I first came to the plains. I spoke for him and Ayg will let him begin again as Ayg has done for me. In doing so though, Ayg promoted me to Commander of Or and my first task was to go and shave the plains. At least I can make Jubie do the bad bad stuff.

What does not kill you

I will not go into much detail at this time describing the plains fire that swept through the camp. I could not describe it as it truly was to be seen. I do though appreciate the little things in life. Everything is connected to one another so, I sit here writing in a journal that was in the forge. The very same journal I had hid from Silken. The same one that somehow survived the plains fire that swept through here. I discovered it under the rubble when cleaning up to rebuild the new forge. I will not build a big forge for we need one to be operating quickly for there is work to be done. Enough to meet the needs for the state we are in. I will be speeding up Wily's education in the way of the forge. He is not ready but will have to prove himself nonetheless. I will be in touch with Ayg soon as well to let him know of the progress being made on the forge for much is riding on how quick I can get it up and running. I said to Silken during the fire that this is not the time for grieving, We must concern ourselves with the living for we can not help the departed. It sounds cold to me now. It was when I told her and I still believe it. There is a phrase...what does not kill you, only makes you stronger. With all the losses the tribe has just suffered, A small piece of everyone of us has died with it. I will not know many that have been injured or have died from the fire but a part of me has died with them for they, along with everyone that was in that camp, in the trenches...doing what must be done, was done as a single unit. a single Tribe. The Tuchuk tribe. So, in their parting, although a piece of myself has gone with them, I remain stronger than I have been before for I will carry with me till the day I join them in the skies, the memories and actions performed by those who have fallen on that fateful night. Their memory will live on and give me strength. I hope to the Skies I do not fail them as they look down now. Rest easy in the skies.

Finding a better place to keep this thing

To My Tuchuk family... I do apologize for the previous entry and will make certain Silken does not find this journal again. Again, I do apologize.

Silken...in her own words.

One does not need to be a Spex to see how beautiful and loving my Mate Silken is.. She is just so wonderful... I am so lucky because no other ass can have Her. She is Mine.. All Mine... look but dont touch or I'll break your fingers.

Hot & Bothered

I caught my reflection today at the stream. I was not certain if it was truly my body reflecting back at me. I used to be a very solid warrior but now as I look at the water, I am not the same as I once was. I have been spending alot of time in the forge and the heat from the forge itself makes a Tuchuk lose some of that thickness in his body. This season though has been especially hard and I am not eating as much as I used to. I suspect this is the result. On the plus side, I am seeing muscles I have not seen before because there is nothing covereing them now. I tell myself I am going to be fine for if there was a true problem, Silken would surely have said something. Just another perk of having a healer as a mate. The heat though is becoming more of a problem as the season wears on. The stream, like my body, is shrinking. Especially as of late. The grass is sadly dying and the bosk are now getting restless. The weakest ones have started to succomb to the heat. Life on the plains, in general, has slowed to a crawl. One does not need to be a spex to know that something is different on the plains. You can almost taste it, smell it in the air. Something is wrong and it shall show itself sooner or later. Preferably sooner, I hate waiting.

Play With Fire, You Will Be Burned

I hear only silence as I open my eyes. Left to right, right to left. I am in a wagon...no, I am my wagon. Sleeping. Why? Then it comes back now...I was at the forge, hammering out a collar when the hammer strike sounds hollow. A sound that is not good for either you just cracked your hammer or the metal was weaker which, in turn, breaks. It did break, I heard it. I turn to find it as it fell on my blind side when it occuredto me I heard the break but not it hitting the ground. The curvature of the collar and the shape of the hammer after so many poundings just made for a rather unfortunate accident. Now, this whole thought process was instant in my head. Just as quick as that thought came so did the collar that was snapped in half. It shot up and into me. Natural reaction was to get it off and I do so. I do it by quickly clamping my hand on it and throwing it down. I quickly leave the forge and mount my Kaiila and ride out to the plains. I go far enough now to know I am alone and then let the anger for my carelessness out. Let the pain it is causing me out. A fierce primal roar comes out and echoes around me on the plains. Now, I have to control the pain for a burn is not like a quiva strike, lance strike or any weapon strike really. It burns and continues to do so to you for some time. I close my eyes and focus on the pain and to no longer let it be in control for I am in control. I did this for some time. How long? I do not know. I am brought back to the plains now with the sound of someone approaching and looking slowly, I know it is Silken. Silken treats my arm and gives me things for it to help in dealing with the burn. After such, I do feel tired. Really tired. Before I can even ask Silken what it was I had, I am asleep. I never fall asleep like that. Not that fast anyway. Odd.

Silence Is Golden

I find it amusing now, thinking back to the night that I had asked Ayg to claim Silken. I truly hadn't planned on asking that night. I knew I would be asking I just did not know when. We are standing back some, there was a large crowd there and a young warrior asked what the bride price would be for another young tuchuk woman. There were congratulations given but it did not seem, at least to me, to make a true impact. Everyone was happy but it is the cycle of life...young mate and have kids etc....It then just hit me, I do not want to be without Silken. We have connected far beyond what I would have ever of thought. Physically, She is what any Tuchuk warrior would desire. Silken though also challenges me. I have to keep my wits about me, but that is in the best way possible. It is also what I find most appealing. As I am coming to this conclusion, I notice I am taking her by the hand and making my way to Ayg himself, and let him know I wish to claim Silken. When the words left me mouth I believe all words being spoke at the time had stopped. The fire was quiet. Then it started...questioning their own ears, wondering what Silken had done to me. The moment of silence, of shock was one of the funniest moments to me. With the Ubar's blessing along with the Ubara I did claim Silken that night and I had taken her back to my wagon. Our wagon. Our wagon, to be shared as mates of the tribe.

Something old, something new

I have been welcomed back and I am happy to have found some familiar faces. I hear that Shi is still about though have not come across him. I have seen Noya on my first night back but not since. I do miss talking long into the nights with Noya. I have also come across Silken. I know her from when I was here the first time around. Even my brief second stay. She has always been a feisty woman. She has hair that looks like it has been set aflame, the color so deep. We talked, of course, before but due to the course of events...We never truly developed anything more than just the same way you would treat a Tuchuk brother or sister you see rarely. We talked but about nothing truly important. " How are things?" " I see you are well". Now though, upon my return...We talk. Moreso than we ever had. I do not know if it was because she feels alone or something else. Maybe just because we are from a time of Tuchuks that not many know of any more. We have a connection because if this. One I know that was not there when we were younger. Odd how time changes things.

Home...Always the same and always changing

I am now home. As different as it looks with so many different people, it is still home. It is still as familiar as the day I left. I am much older now though than I was when I was the young, ambitious warrior ready to fight and show I am to be feared. My fighting days are still not over though and I would die a warriors death on the plains, defending the tribe, the skies and the stars above. That is a warriors death. That is a Tuchuks death. I do not wish to leave again. I hope to remain until that day that the skies call for me. In glorious battle, defending the tribe that has welcomed an old warrior back to his true home.

Risen from the Ashes

I am Ashoak Ley. At one time I was Ubar to the Tucuk tribe. I have been commander of 10,100 and 1000 and also commander of the Ubar's guard. I have earned the scars that adorn my face. I was not born to the Tuchuk tribe though. I was born in a city, which one it was I no longer recall. I have been mated before and now looking back - my duty, to put tribe first at all times, also cost me my mates and the children they bore me.

It took all that for me to know I had been faithful to the tribe, would have given my life for it but would not give this same kind of attention to my mates or children. With this revelation, I had left. I had to have distance, as painful as it was, for me to regain my sense of priorities. Tribe above all was the mantra I lived by but was not my mates and children also part of that tribe?

I was gone for many,many moons but have now returned. Not as Ubar or commander. No, just a a Tuchuk warrior. A proud Tuchuk warrior with a new sense of order. Tribe above all still rings true but now also goes deeper than that.